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Counseling Couples Orlando and Lasting Change

Counseling Couples Orlando and Lasting Change

Counseling couples Orlando and how to make lasting change. Many therapists shy away from the idea of counseling couples. I have to admit that I used to be one of those therapist myself. The back and forth name calling and below the belt hitting was just to much to bear. By the time a couple came in for counseling they had already made up their minds that the relationship was over.

Counseling couples becomes pretty hard when you start therapy with the expectation that it is already not going to work. Why come in then? Why waste my time and try to fix something if you have already decided that it is not going to work? I guess it’s true what I hear on the phone during the setting up of appointments. A last ditch attempt to see if anything can be worked out.

Counseling Couples Orlando

A New Approach That May Work

The following is a list of ideas that I have come up with that maybe, just maybe you will consider before placing that call to dump all the toxic poison into a single session with your partner.

  1. Stop seeing everything as your partners problem and start taking ownership for your part. It takes two for an issue to arise. Do you really think your so right that there is nothing you need to change in the relationship? Could it really be that one sided? I seriously doubt that. I think that it is fear and ego keeping you from seeing the part you play in the problems becoming so large.
  2. Stop judging your partner for what you perceive as the problem. Maybe they see it a different way. Your black and white thinking is nothing more than your inability to gain awareness that another person could possibly have a different viewpoint.
  3. Can you not be so defensive when your partner points out a behavior that hurts them or does not serve to bring a healthy response to the relationship? Do you put up a wall to protect your hurt feelings and deflect? Why do you do this? Are you incapable of seeing that you have an area in your life that needs attention? Maybe your anger, inability to effectively communicate, listen, etc, are getting in the way.
  4. Are you able to say that your sorry? Can you simply admit when you are the one that has lashed out at your partner? Are you too stubborn that you won’t simply say that your sorry? Counseling couples seems to be frustrating when one partner has the idea that they will go to therapy to get the therapist to side with them and against the other partner. My approach in working with couples is very clear and effective.

Counseling Couples Orlando

How To Approach Session

Do not come if you do not have the slightest willingness to look at yourself and work on possibly saving the relationship. Even if you feel there is a 99% chance it will not last, all it takes is that 1%. If that is not there then save your partner and myself the time.

Come with the idea that as your therapist I will not be telling one partner that they are right and the other is wrong. I hear so many horror stories of therapists telling one of the partners that they are clearly right while the other is wrong. How can this be? Perception is unique to the individual. That is not to say that I do not hold each accountable to treating each other with respect, kindness and compassion. This can be done.

Be open to hearing things about yourself that you may need to work on in individual session. I always tell my couples that the first session is great to see each other together. After that, it is time for the real work of digging deep and reconstructing the internal dialogue of your conditioning. These are the right and wrong statements you have brought into the relationship from your childhood and past relationships.

Counseling Couples Orlando
Counseling Couples Orlando

Do not come if you do not have the slightest willingness to look at yourself and work on possibly saving the relationship. Even if you feel there is a 99% chance it will not last, all it takes is that 1%. If that is not there then save your partner and myself the time.

Come with the idea that as your therapist I will not be telling one partner that they are right and the other is wrong. I hear so many horror stories of therapists telling one of the partners that they are clearly right while the other is wrong. How can this be? Perception is unique to the individual. That is not to say that I do not hold each accountable to treating each other with respect, kindness and compassion. This can be done.

Be open to hearing things about yourself that you may need to work on in individual session. I always tell my couples that the first session is great to see each other together. After that, it is time for the real work of digging deep and reconstructing the internal dialogue of your conditioning. These are the right and wrong statements you have brought into the relationship from your childhood and past relationships.

Counseling Couples Orlando

Get the Help You Need Today

Why wait until it is to late? Counseling couples Orlando works when you realize that you need an outside observer to help guide you through the rough patches. There are several benefits of counseling. They are endless. You will learn to not only enhance the relationship and bring about peace, happiness and emotional maturity. Your entire life as an individual can change. This of course depends on your willingness to do the work. What do you have to lose? Call now and let’s get started.

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