A narcissist is defined as someone who has excessive interest and/or admiration of themselves. They can be difficult to spot in the beginning of a relationship or friendship because they are on their best behavior, but as time goes on, their true nature starts to come out. Here are five things you should know about narcissists:
When you meet a narcissist, you're going to think you've finally met the person of your dreams. They are charming and exhibit no red flags in the beginning. Narcissists are popular, attracting people wherever they go. People are drawn to them. They know how to highlight their best qualities and say exactly the right thing. They can make conversation with you and make you feel as though they admire everything about you.
Narcissists love to be in control of situations. They want to be the boss. Narcissists hate to be told "no." If you are dating a narcissist, you may notice that they shower you with attention when it's good for them and then they might disappear for a while before coming back and giving you attention again. Narcissists like to know they have power, that they can come and go as they please and not be called out on it.
If you do call a narcissist out on their poor treatment of you, you will suddenly find yourself on the receiving end of a rage attack. If you dare to say "no" to a narcissist, you will be punished with insults and anger. A narcissist doesn't like when they can't have their way. They will play the victim to manipulate you to do what they want; if that doesn't work, you will see a side of them you may never have seen before. Suddenly this person who was all love and affection will act as though they hate you. These attacks are more than anger; they are rage.
A narcissist will never be happy for your accomplishments. Whether you finish writing a book or graduate college, they will make it seem like nothing at all. They won't make a big deal out of your successes, if they acknowledge them at all. Narcissists may act this way because they haven't achieved anything themselves and can't stand for anyone to do better. If a narcissist does acknowledge your achievement, they will probably take credit for it.
Narcissists need to be the center of attention in every circumstance. It doesn't matter if you were just in a car accident and broke your leg; you will hear the story of their car accident and why it was worse. If you text a narcissist with an issue you're having with your spouse, they might reply in one line to your concern and send an entire novel talking about how it reminds them of a situation they were once in. Even though their issue is long over, somehow it still takes precedence over yours. The narcissist will always find a way to make themselves the topic of conversation.
Narcissist personality disorder is a mental illness, but you are not obligated to put up with poor behavior because someone is sick. It's important that you take care of yourself first.
Seek the help you need to learn how to deal with a narcissist close to you. At High Expectations Counseling we have a team of talented staff willing to assist you in giving you the tools to understand and heal. Don’t wait. Call us at 407-967-1327.