Codependent Relationship Counseling Orlando is right for you if you can relate to this article. Yes love is for sure unselfish. The needs of our children when they are born naturally come first before our needs. We won’t let our baby go on crying endlessly from being hungry during the middle of the nighttime just because we don’t want to have to wake up. As parents e spend tireless hours shuttling our children around to different activities. Being tired and doing things we don’t necessarily want to do is part of what it means to love our kids.
However, when it relates to adults it gets sticky when we are always putting the other first in the relationships. This comes at the expense of our sense of well being and our health. Just what does it mean to be codependent?
Codependency is indeed a learned behavior. We as little kids watched the actions of both parents. If we saw our parents struggle with setting healthy boundaries (always the victim, martyr, inability to say no) then more than likely, we learned these conditioned behaviors and incorporated them into our own intimate relationships.
Children that grew up with parents that were emotionally immature or unavailable can easily be at risk for codependency. They may often find that they are in relationships with partners that are emotionally unavailable. They still find themselves staying in the hopes they can change the other person. No matter the cost they don’t stop hoping and wishing that one day soon things will change for the better.
Subconsciously our mind is hoping that if our loved one could simply “see the amount of love we give them” then other will leap up with enthusiasm and be inspired and motivated to change. We want the love that we so longingly desired from our parents. This type of thinking is very destructive. We must learn to have boundaries that are healthy and that can keep us in our alignment. If we don’t we can easily fall prey to emotional, physical and verbal abuse.
What’s worse is that we do not seem to realize this and live in very loveless relationships. Codependent relationship counseling in Orlando is vital for those who feel this way. We failed to learn early on what a good relationship that is healthy looks like. Codependent individuals just do not think they deserve love.
As a codependent this person will look for outside people to help them feel complete. They seek to “fix their partner”.
Being with an emotionally unavailable partner is common. The partner may have develop some addiction or behavior (workaholism, alcoholism, or some other compulsive behavior that allows them to be able to avoid feelings of emptiness as it relates to the relationship. Most are not willing to look deeper within themselves and deal with their own emotions
If you think you may be in this type of relationship then the first thing you must do stop looking to your partner to fill your needs and start looking at yourself.
If you can honestly agree with some of these following characteristics then you may struggle with codependency.
The very good news is that codependency most often is always a learned behavior. So this means you can change. If you want a relationship that is loving and kind then you must do the individual work required.
As you’re doing the hard work to begin breaking the cycle of codependency, you may have feelings that your being selfish and that it’s unfair to your loved one. This however is far from the truth. Both partners in a healthy relationship have fully developed and formed identities. This is separate from time together. They on their own bring unique qualities and attributes to the table. This creates a healthy partnership allowing both to grow and to thrive.
Here at High Expectations Counseling we have a team of experienced therapists ready to assist in your growth and journey back to who you were before codependency was formed. Unravel yourself and do the harder but freeing work of learning who that person is. Call today at 407-967-1327.