Divorce and moving on. A word most of us hope we never need to make a reality. Unfortunately, this happens more often than we would like to admit. Although divorce is an excruciatingly painful and sometimes a lengthy experience, it does not have to destroy you. Fortunately, we can all survive this and come out stronger. Here are a few things you can do to get to the other side in one piece:
* Sometimes divorce is inevitable for the fact that we are not the one requesting this action and changing your partner's mind is not always on the cards. Though you will experience shock and surprise and pain, the first thing to do is stay calm and not overthink the situation.
* One thing you should try to avoid is taking the blame for things going wrong and leading up to this. Feeling a form of guilt with surely be unavoidable but do not allow it to take over your thoughts. It isimportant to stay focused.
* Almost 100% of the time we will have children and work we still have to deal with during this. When there are children, it is easy to put them in the middle or to use them to avoid divorce. Consider the nature of the situation and try to establish whether fighting a divorce will be best for the children; in other words, will staying with your partner be healthy for the children or will it cause more trouble in the long run?
* You may want to escape for a while - you are feeling overwhelmed and have not yet found your feet in the situation. If you can, speak to a close friend or family member. You do not need to do this on your own.
* If you cannot move out then arrange with your partner to move out. Being in each other's space is not a good idea for anybody. Both parties need to take a breath and need some time to process what is happening.
* When there has been no resolution to saving a marriage, it is important to remember not to fight dirty. It is an emotional process and for the most part can get very ugly. Sometimes this can do more harm than anything else. Divorce cases can carry on for months and even years and you will be depriving yourself of so many wonderful things - such as the fair chance to grief for your lost marriage and possibly the strength to move forward.
* Whether you want to stay friends is up to you and your circumstances, but never try to use it to fool yourself into hoping it to be an opportunity to reunite.
With all this said, you will probably be heartbroken and angry for a while and that is okay. Just be aware that you don't allow it to take over your life.
Seek therapy today if you find yourself having overwhelming anxiety and feelings of hopelessness. You don’t have to go it alone. A therapist can help you to grieve the loss of the relationship. Call today at 407-967-1327 and let’s start healing. Understand our approach better and see if we are a good fit.