Most people have a great longing to be in a long-term relationship and have an intimate connection with another. Marriage is a good vessel for this connection. We see divorce rates rising. What we can gather from this is that relationships are hard work. People don’t get divorced because the marriage is effortless and perfect.
If you are finding yourself struggling then know that your not alone. If your feeling hopeless, lost, full of anxiety and despair your for sure not alone. Do you feel your partner does not like you? Many feel this way. If you have a strong desire to save the marriage then the following suggestions may work for you.
Make the decision to make it work. Even if you think your spouse hates you commit to making the marriage work. Positive change happens with hard work and commitment
Could your partner hate you? Maybe. This could be very possible. However, usually there are issues deeper than hate. Pain, fear and hurt lie underneath anger. Your spouse may not know how to verbalize it so it comes out as anger. Try to shift your perspective so that you can see the situation entirely different. Stop thinking in such black and white.
When the relationship is broken having someone on the outside can help tremendously. A licensed therapist can provide the tools and help bridge the communication. This allows for empathy and understanding to enter.
Communication is vital. Learn how you must communicate differently to each other so that you both hear one another. Talk to your spouse and tell them your desires to work out the problems.
What is it that’s keeping you from jumping into saving your marriage? Stop blaming the other. Take ownership for how the relationship got to this point. What resentments are you harboring? What fears can’t you let go of? Do you feel like the victim? Did you even speak up long ago when you felt this way?
There are deeper issues. Mainly stemming from your past relationships and from your family of origin. Finding the root cause is an individual journey. By addressing these deeper issues, you will and can prevent future problems that can from affect your marriage.
At the end of each day, it is your responsibility to make yourself happy. We can’t put that responsibility onto another. Be open and honest about where you stand on issues. Don’t try to push your agenda or ideas onto each other. Show each other it’s safe to open up and share.
All of these above suggestions can be helpful in revitalizing and mending a marriage. However, it will take the willingness from you both to make it come back together. Do not ever hesitate to fight for the relationship. Your commitment can and will go a long way.