Orlando Relationship Counseling has been a long time passion of mine. There is no better feeling than seeing a couple come into therapy with doubts that the relationship or marriage cannot be saved. Both are tired of fighting, harboring resentments and anger. They make the assumption that as their therapist, I will point out which partner is in the wrong and that that person will be at fault. This is not how I operate.
As a therapist for over 16 years, I can speak from experience when I say that there is a lot more to love and a relationship than anyone can imagine. Humans are complex beings. Each with their perceived flaws, deep rooted conditioning and ideas about how the relationship should turn out. Each come with their own set of belief systems and expectations that do not always align.
More often than not couples keep making the same errors in the relationship but yet they expect to get different results. How does a couple learn to navigate the relationship and improve their quality of life together as a couple?
You can be with your partner physically but emotionally be 1000 miles apart. Intimacy is the ability to “see your partner just the way they are.” Flaws and all. Not seeing them the way you want to see them. Do develop emotional intimacy. Many couples live together physically but live apart emotionally. It’s about understanding your partners needs and desires before they have to explain them to you. This is developed through the commitment to be honest and authentic no matter what.
Plans do not always turn out the way we want them to. Make sure to talk about the years that lay ahead and what steps you both want to take in order to ensure a happy and fulfilling future. Lay out short term and long term goals. Both as individuals and as a couple. What does the future look like in regards to a family, children, career, money, etc?
I understand that people feel they are very important and that they can multitask. Set the phone down and show respect to each other. Listen and make eye contact. Let your partner know that you see and hear them.
Information gets confused and lost in the translation. You cannot pick up on the others tone, intention and really what they are saying. Make it a point to be that couple that raises the bar and agrees to talk face to face.
Yes it is true that some distance does make the heart fonder. It is always a good idea to have your own interest and hobbies. Make it a point to take a break from each other. This shows that you trust each other and are able to give each other the much needed space you both deserve.
Learn to control what is coming out of your mouth. If you cannot, walk away and take a break. Words can be cutting and hurt. Hurtful words are not taken back once said. Arguments will happen and it does not mean that the relationship is unhealthy.
Communication and listening is the key to the game. It will make or break you both as a couple. Stop making assumptions about what you think the other wants and simply ask.
No two relationships are the same. The grass may be greener on the other side but your relationship is unique to the two of you.
Remember that relationships must start with a foundation of truth. Without it the relationship does not stand a chance. Dare to be totally authentic and real. Have respect for each other and understand that they see the world and interpret it differently. Thank goodness for these differences. Intimacy forms from being real and authentic. Functional relationships will grow and continue to grow becoming more and more beautiful.
If you and your partner can identify with the above do’s and dont’s list and feel that you could use some help then get started. There are several benefits of counseling. They can help to bridge the broken communication and the constant feelings of walking on eggshells. Stop beating a dead horse and trying to find your way out of a maze. My approach is unique, challenging and works not with coping skills but the underlying fears, expectations and misunderstanding that many partners harbor with each other.
Start the journey today. Call now for a free 30 minute phone session. Let’s get onto the road of happiness and joy for your relationship.