Orlando Relationship Counselling and expectations. Do expectations lead to suffering? No matter how mature and self sufficient you are, expectations still run parallel to our thinking. We have an expectation that when we walk into our house the lights will work, the mail will be delivered and that our dog will be there to greet us.
It’s when we expect things outside of self to turn out a certain way that we get disappointed and angry. Why do we put all of our expectations on things outside of our control? Can we manipulate and control what happens? Do we believe we truly are right and there is only one way to go about doing things? If our expectations aren’t met we get mad. We judge each other, question each other. We will go to war to get others to “get our point across”.
What about expectations that we place on our partner? We believe that they should or should not treat us a certain way. That tends to start to get sticky and hurt feelings are quickly developed. Orlando and relationship counseling seeks to help you and your partner understand how you stay trapped in the drama triangle caught in the web of unrealistic expectations.
Personally we start to believe that other people have the ability to make us happy or sad. We start to have arguments with this person. We claim they don’t love us or treat us the right way. My question to you is, “what is the right way”? Is it your way is it societies way?
We are born into this world like a white canvas. We have no concept of time, future, past, hate, or fear. Slowly the conditioning of our character starts to form. We model the behavior of those around us. If the story plot is one of fear then anxiety, doubt, frustration and resentment tell the story.
What about the expectations that you put on yourself? Telling yourself that you should be a certain way. It is the human conditioning to want to be validated, seen and heard. Continuously you find yourself falling short of your expectations. You then become angry, resentful, depressed and sad. Who is to blame for these expectations? Why are humans constantly hard on themselves? Could it be you’re hearing the voice of society. Your family and all of the messages that come along with the outside world?
How about we create a relationship not based on needs. Not on demands that the other should change and fit into your world. Allow each other to be. Just be who they are with no demands, expectations and requirements. What would that look like? I think it is moving closer to Unconditional Love.