Stopping Divorce Before It Begins is key. Divorce statistics today in the U.S. are at a staggering number. It is estimated that 50% of first time marriages end in a divorce. The chance you will stay married a second time are even at a greater percentage. No couple stands in front of the alter thinking about the fact they may divorce. Every couple will hit a dry patch in the marriage. How does a couple stop the marital problems from starting to spiral, escalate and get out of control?
Fights are going to be inevitable. You both live under the same roof. The truth is that you will for sure get on each others last nerve. There are bills that need to be paid, meals to cook, yards to mow and children to play with. When you’re frustrated the last thing to do is give each other the silent treatment. If your angry and cannot say anything nice stay quiet. This is different than bottling it up and becoming resentful. After taking a break to calm down go back to your partner and explain in a rational way why you’re angry. Give your husband or wife the opportunity to also explain their feelings. How will you both know what there is to work on if you both never communicate?
You will be amazed at the healing these two words can create. It defuses anger and avoids a situation becoming a huge ordeal. These words heal and let your spouse know that you truly see and hear them. Don’t allow you pride and ego to stand in the way. It is not worth it.
When a person listens to another constantly putting them down, there is a tendency to believe what is heard. You start to lose respect for each other. Love is quickly getting sucked out of the marriage when put downs become normal. To tell your spouse they are no-good, a liar, lazy, etc is hurtful and will rip a marriage apart. Respecting each other is the highest form of love there is.
Marriage is not always easy. You both must be ready for challenges. There needs to be some give and take. This does not mean you must lose yourself to your spouse to make them happy. You must learn how to be an effective listener and how to communicate. Having mutual respect goes a long way.
Stop the ripping and seek marriage counseling if you think that your marriage is quickly sinking like quicksand.
Do not wait to seek help. Let’s work in a collaborative way to think outside of the box. You would be amazed at how much of our childhood conditioning comes with you into a marriage. Understand my approach to couples therapy. Start to learn how to speak more clearly from the heart.