Marriage Therapy and Help | Where Did The Passion Go?

couple sitting on each end of couch frustrated needing marriage therapy
  • Marriage Therapy and Help

Marriage Therapy and Help. We all could use a little help can’t we? Are we to full of pride and fear that asking for help feels horrible? Why do we change the way we feel about our partner after the dust has settled and the roaring passion has died down to a small fire?

The love is new, and when new, both have the ability to feel wonderful feelings of happiness no matter what is going on around them. You could be stuck in traffic or having your teeth worked on. You both are in the throes of love that is passionate. It is an intense state of desire, attraction and longing. Over time this love will turn into companionate love. This is experienced as a less intensified and more impassioned blend of very deep affection and a deep connection. 

Marriage Therapy and Help | Where Is The Love?

Humans are inclined to take for granted positive experiences they have. We buy a very nice car, find a wonderful partner, get a nice house. How awesome for a while this feels. But then our expectations shift, they begin to multiply and expand. As this happens we start to take each other for granted.  We get tired and bored and want more, new and better. We start to ask ourselves, “where is the love”, the passion and desire?

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The Following are 8 ways in which you and your partner can start to bring back the passion:

1. Try a new activity or experience together. Once a week get a sitter if you have children

2. Make it a point to start kissing on the mouth each time your with your partner. Be mindful and intentional when you do so.

3. Have your own separate bathroom, if it’s possible. Do not use the bathroom at the same time as your partner if you do in fact have to share. Keep a level of mystery.

4. Make plans to meet out at a dinner restaurant or plan a date instead of going to the place together. Be excited to see each other when you get there.

5. If money allows, get a house cleaner. Spend that extra time on the weekends in bed cuddled up instead of arguing over petty things. 

6. Keep a healthy distance from family and in-laws. You can remain close with them but do not let them start telling you what you should do to rekindle the relationship. 

7. You do not have to stay together every night. Give each other some space. You will start to miss your partner after they go on a trip for a week. 

8. Don’t start wearing the old pajamas that have holes in them. Keep it fresh like it was in the beginning.

Marriage Therapy and Help | Where Do We Turn To?

The bottom line is that it takes time and commitment to keep a marriage fresh and alive. If you do not like aspects of yourself then your going to see that lack in your partner and point out their flaws. Take the journey of individual counseling and/or relationship counseling. Understand better who you are instead of trying to please your partner. It is not your job to make your partner happy. It is your job to stay in your lane and be loving and kind. Read more about my approach and contact me today.

 

 

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